Mark 2021:
-Mr Spring finds lost cabbage
-Strange birds return to amerikus, devour all
-McRonalds lose 80 billions of dollarios due to dorito leakage from nearby power plant
-Real whale found in poekmon deiamonf peerl editio n2!!!
Frube 2021:
-All happy meals ever recalled because of traces of real chicken
-Green Mountain dubbed the greatest country alive
-Neo Yudoslavius conquers itself by mistake
-Chineze scientists create AIDS for a gag
Janny 2021:
-Mario discovered to be real in Russia
-Jeff Kieglheyley invents the xbox 3
-Megadrive/nes roms for $1.99 @ mcdonalds.gov/roms
-Corobus-birus destroyed forever
Decent 2020:
-Christmas thought to be saved by italian magician
-Mario invented in Serbian Federation
-Jeff Kieglheyley invents the xbox 2
-Super snes roms for free @ tonkistan.gov/roms
Novembus 2020:
-Don Phlegm spotted outside Arby's
-Green man discovered near Pennsylvania
-Tonkistan declares nation-wide state of party in response to latest Kingdom Hearts installment
-Grease Hill runs out of oil, imports from Tonkistan to keep name
-Slightly bigger rat raises concerns among residents in New Ronk City
-Ultraman Fetus appears in New Ronk City, attacks rat
-Dubloons thought to be real after scientists discover large amounts of cash
Octobis 2020:
-Truck hits Subway restaurant, believed to be mcdonaldsian attack
-President Georgor Busher goes to the store
-Infamous serial jelqer Dog Walker uploads infamous review, is struck stupid in the streets
-Trolling attempt in US Senate makes president consider martial law
-Grease Hill president Lil Lipid dead at 300 pounds
-Radish invented in Boilertown
Septembulon 2020:
-Tonkistani forces seize mcdonalds parking lot
-Cool video of a dog playing tennis surfaces, receives many upvotes
-Uranium Hill runs out of uranium
-Kamen Rider Spoon receives highest ratings in japanese tv history (98.7%)
-Snintendo of 'Merica releases Donkey Konger 65 after decades of waiting
-mcdonalds believed to be under rommunist influence, states local US man
-Tronnie Treagus is kicked out of big white house in america due to extreme amounts of fraud
-Busher declared pressy for the 67th time in two years
Auguesht 2020:
-mcdonalds population hits 7 billion, US leaders concerned
-Uranium found in Grease Hill, president considering renaming
-Famous Grease enthusiast claims uranium is temporary, grease is forever
-Local man concerned about lack of crocodiles in sewer, claims "Death Shit" is forcing them to extinction
-New research claims that CoA Politics is the only unbiased news source ever to exist in the world
Julius 2020:
-Stupid idiot falls over
-World's fattest kaijuu discovered in ural mountains, is believed to be gay
-mcdonalds is established as an independent state
-Norwish Trainroadtracks discovered to be made of gold to "make the trains faster", UN suggests sanctions
-Ronnie Reagus de-crowned in United States coup, despite 99.99999% approval rating
-Tronnie Treagus declared presidenter of the United States
Juun 2020:
-Blockistani rebels liberate country from monkey menace
-Train in Moomintopia derails, causing 100 billion moomin dollars (MOO) in damage
Mayth 2020:
-Nothin much
-I found a lizard
Ape 2020:
-Massive scale monkey invasion takes Blockistan by storm
-Apes are abundant everywhere
Marsh 2020:
-Trolling is declared a felony in Gandertopia
-Gandertopia population decreases by 683%
-Funny dog throws up
-Last two remaining people in Gandertopia are executed
Fibrary 2020:
-Sleepy man in search of dreams realized they were in him all along
-Fibre grows on trees now
-Creating chromatine is declared illegal in Brand New Yolk City
-Strange man in cheese armor attempts forbidden jutsu, escapes police
-Green chess is invented in Duck China
Jayner 2020:
*NEWS VAN WAS OUT OF FUNCTION, WE HAVE NO INFO SORRY*
Decumber 2019:
-Green snow thought to be God's gift to earth or maybe acid
Neverember 2019:
-Real iron discovered in large building, seized by mysterious cheeseman
-Grease Hill thought to be planning trench warfare against local clean man
-Insane bug-human discovers the meaning of love
Octagober 2019:
-Bread is discovered to be edible
-Greater Gumlandia annexes Gumland
-United States of Gum is nuked, 10 people dead
-Strange men on internet post images, thinks its funny
Seppie 2019:
-Uranium discovered to be made out of Uranium
-Yuranium discovered to not be real
-Infamous 4Ban user "Johnothan" hacks US government, leaks George Bush mixtape